September 27th, Jason Pickfords Three Peaks.

THE 3 PEAKS - DIRECTOR'S CUT

This is the honest version i.e. how it really was.

Just before race. JP - why can't mountain bikes and disc brakes be used? FR (Father Riley) - because they work ha! ha! 

Mass start, ride bike for a little bit, get to foot of Ingleborough and stop riding. Up a very steep slope with bike on back, eventually get to top with the aid of a wire fence. Ride bike for 5 yards, get stuck in bog, get off and carry it. Big stile to climb over, ride bike again a little bit, what's that in the mist? Oh, we're not at the top yet, just the pretend top, let's get off bike again and carry it up some stone steps to the proper top. Carry bike down steep bit. Ride it again but see a gully...don't get front wheel in that F gully, oh boll**ks, front wheel in the F gully, JP face down on the deck, OUCH!!

Start descent of Ingleborough, brakes don't work, front one especially (they never do apparently, that's part of the design). Manage to stay upright, look forward to quick catch up with Chris S and Dave L at the bottom but they must have got bored and gone, thanks for the support guys! On to Whernside and I get to ride my bike for 10 minutes, happy days!

Whernside, off again, and a lovely bonus - you get a free half cup of water, yippee!! Carry bike again up a very big hill. Get near top, try to ride but just carry it again, then get a quick 2 minute ride in. Lovely big blocks of stone to come down, see a guy with a bust collarbone, ha!, serves him right for riding his bike, does he think it's a bike race or something? Levels out a bit,  start riding....not for long, stile to get over. Start riding, not for long, stile to get over....start riding, not for long.....catch my drift?

Get to bottom, looking forward to seeing Chris S and Dave L, not there, must have got bored again, but did see Will's mate from Birkenhead, nice chap who did try to encourage me.

Hang on, something wrong, I've been riding my bike for 10 minutes, must have gone the wrong way. No, I'm at Horton, turn left up track to Pen-Y-Ghent. Plenty of riders coming down, don't see Will so he must have crashed or he's already in the pub. Don't see Chris or Dave, they must have got bored again. Ride up for a bit, then back to usual routine of walking and carrying. See Father Riley bobbing down, looks quite pleased with himself, says something completely useless to me (can't remember what), but I'm a long way from the summit so it's head down and carry on with the walking event, I mean bike race. Near top now, couple of clowns coming down other way go head over t*t, so probably more walking for me on that bit.

Descent of Pen-Y-Ghent, brakes now completely useless, why do they bother putting them on at all? And luxury, you get to actually ride your bike for 5 minutes to the finish. I think most people were back home having their Sunday roast when I got back.

So if you want a bike ride where you don't ride your bike then this is an event for you.

Had a dream on Sunday night. God came to me and said J, this season you can win a road race, batter your TT PB's or be dead good at carrying your bike like Father Riley, which do you want? Hmmm, let me think...   JP.